I killed a deer this weekend.
Or at least I’m pretty sure I did. But it didn’t really happen at all like I’d planned when I set out on Friday evening.
To begin with, it wasn’t a magnificent, blacktail buck, emerging unsuspecting on a foggy, cool morning from a cluster of oaks. It wasn’t even a barely-legal forked horn that I lucked into as I stumbled clumsily down the rice-krispy hillsides. And I didn’t shoot it with the bow.
No, this was a spotted fawn, and it met its heartbreaking demise at the front right tire of my Dodge Ram truck.
In almost 30 years of driving, I have never hit a deer. Even driving many nights in rural, southeastern NC where the deer are so overpopulated, I’ve always managed to avoid hitting the animals. But on Friday night, as I was covering the last few miles up to the Golden Ram’s Hedgepeth Ranch, the streak ended abruptly… not in shrieking brakes and rending metal, but with a sudden flash and a sickening thump.
The roads climbing up above Lake Sonoma are narrow and winding, barely two lanes, and in many places the brush and grass grow right to the pavement’s edge. It’s a tough crawl with a big truck, especially with the trailered Samurai in tow. I’m fairly attentive when I drive those roads at night, because hogs and deer both cross regularly. Just last season, I stopped and despatched a big boar hog that someone else had hit and left in the middle of the road… his spine broken, he was still full of fight.
Unfortunately, Friday’s little victim was barely as tall as the grass from which she emerged suddenly( I say “she”, although I don’t know why…maybe because that little face with the big eyes and lashes looks so feminine to me). I spotted her just as she appeared under the right, front corner of the truck. Stopping in time was not an option, and I have hauled trailers long enough to know not to panic and swerve, especially on these twisty roads. I felt the steering wheel thump slightly as the tire passed over the little body, and another thump as it rolled under the chassis.
As soon as it was clear, I slowed to a stop, set the flashers, and jumped out with the flashlight. Josh was following right behind me, and he stopped as well… puzzled at why I jumped out. He’d seen something come out behind me, but thought it was a piece of plastic or something. Whatever it was, he told me, it had flopped back over the edge of the road and into the bushes on the steep hillside. We covered the ground below with our flashlights, until I found a patch of hair and blood where the little deer had scraped on the asphalt. A couple of drops of blood (very little, actually) showed the trail off of the road and this is where I focused.
About 20 or 30 yards downhill, I caught the gleam of two eyes, but after a moment I realized that this was a healthy, adult deer. A doe. Momma.
I could anthropomorphize here a bit, and suggest that she was glaring at us in hostile recrimination. But really, I’m sure she was wondering what just happened and trying to decide if she or her little one were in danger. I didn’t hear the youngster bleating or thrashing, thankfully, but I’m sure momma deer knew something was wrong.
Josh and I continued to look, and finally spotted the little deer curled up in a thicket of branches about 10 yards off the road. I kept my distance and looked for obvious signs of injury. I could see blood, but it wasn’t until the fawn stood and tried to hobble away that I could see the real damage to the right shoulder and the leg, dangling below. It didn’t look very good at all. She (or he) disappeared again, and I fully expected to hear her tumbling down the steep grade, into the draw below.
I felt like I had a decision to make. My first instinct was to go get the pistol out of the truck and put the poor thing out of its misery with a quick shot. And maybe that would have been the right thing to do. But as Josh and I bounced the ideas around, we both knew that deer can survive quite well on only three legs if they can avoid predators long enough. She wasn’t raising a lot of fuss to attract coyotes or lions (although she was probably in shock at the time), and momma was right there. If the internal injuries weren’t too bad, she could possibly be mobile enough to get through the first year. They’re incredibly resilient animals.
Maybe that was wishful thinking, trying to ease the guilt I felt, but that’s the decision I made. We’d leave her be, let nature do what it would. I was nearly certain that the little thing would be dead by morning either way, but I felt like I could at least give her a chance. I felt awful as I climbed back into the cab and continued on my way.
And that was about as close as I got to a deer or a hog all weekend. I saw one doe on Saturday morning, and Josh and I bumped one out of a bed that afternoon, but neither of us saw a buck. I spotted a bunch of pigs, but nothing was in a place where I could stalk it. Pressure on the ranch was pretty high, with the cowboys rounding up cattle through my main hunting areas, and a lot of hunters all over the place. It was also hot as blazes. By the time I wrapped up Sunday’s morning hunt, I was ready to go home.
Despite the downer experience on Friday evening, it was a nice weekend. It was awesome to get out and hunt with a new friend, Josh, and of course any day out in the Sonoma County hills is better than sitting around in town.
I’m hoping to get out again before the rifle season opener, but I guess that’s all dependent on work and life.
ADDENDUM: It occurred to me that some readers might wonder why we didn’t try to capture the fawn and take it to a wildlife rehab center. First of all, it was the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. But more importantly, the stress of a capture attempt would certainly have caused further injury to the little deer and likely would have been fatal even if the initial injuries weren’t. The hillside there is extremely steep and covered in loose dirt and rocks, which would have made the effort dangerous to Josh and myself as well. Capture was simply not an option. However, in retrospect, I think it might have been kinder to have shot her.