The Hog Blog

Many years ago, I saw this great episode of the Letterman Show where David Letterman interviewed Ozzie Osbourne.  He was grilling Oz about his drug use, and the musician was claiming to be free and clear of all drugs.  David rattled off a list of prescription meds, and asked Ozzie, “well, don’t you still take all of these?”

Ozzie nodded in the affirmative and declared, “well, I have to take those.”

David looked at him with that great Alfred E Newman grin and said, “really?  Why?”

Ozzie didn’t miss a beat in his reply.  “Because I’m ‘bleeping’ crazy, that’s why!”

When people ask me why I’ve chosen wild hogs as my favorite game animal, that interview always comes to mind.  I mean of all the awesome big game animals I could (and do) hunt on this continent… or even in this state, why would I choose to pursue a non-native, destructive and invasive animal like the hog?  Well, maybe I’m just bleeping crazy. 

Or maybe it’s because I find them to be every bit as challenging as any deer I ever hunted… if not moreso.  Hogs are tough to hunt, especially when you’re on their terms.  In CA we can’t use bait.  I choose not to use dogs, although that is a legal and effective method.  I prefer to stalk them in their home turf, figuring them out and then trying to close for the kill.

You can’t pattern them like deer.  They tend to move on a whim, and when they do they can cover a lot of ground.  They are generally a lot more sensitive to pressure, so once spooked you may never see them in that place again…at least not in daylight.  Especially on public land, you get one chance.  If you blow it, you go back to zero and find a new place to start over.

They’re not really glamorous.  They don’t carry a majestic set of antlers like elk or mule deer, and their hides make terrible rugs, unlike bears.  The boars can put on a really impressive set of tusks, I suppose, but personally, I’ve never been a trophy hunter anyway.  They’re ugly and mean, and they smell bad, so in that way I guess they’re kinda like me after a few days in the field. 

They don’t have much of a sense of vision, and if you stand still they’ll walk right by you.  Frightened, they may run right over you.  This behavior is often mistaken for an intentional charge, but the fact is, the danged things just can’t see all that well.  Of course, once the hog is on you, things can get dicey.

They can hear pretty well, but they are noisy beasts and tend to ignore many sounds in the field.  If you come upon a herd feeding, you can practically walk right up to them over dried leaves and branches, as long as you don’t let them see you moving.  On the other hand, when alerted to danger, they can tune in like radar and disappear like ghosts. 

Their sense of smell though, highly developed and simply uncanny, is the downfall of most hunters.  A hog can separate man-scent from crazy distances, and will vacate an area on the lightest breeze if it feels threatened.  If you don’t play the wind, there is no amount of scent-cover that will get you close. 

With these senses, a hog hunt is always a crap shoot.  In the CA canyons, the wind constantly swirls and changes.  One day you may have everything going just right, until the critical moment when you’re about to draw the bow or settle the crosshairs…then, WHOOSH!  Or else you may spend hours or even days poring over tracks that are still crumbling or steaming scat, but never even see the bristled back of a live pig.  This uncertainty is part of what I love about hog hunting.

Boars have a reputation for being dangerous, and I guess the potential is certainly there.  Those tusks are razor sharp, and I’ve seen what they can do to a dog and heard about what they’ll do to a man.  But honestly, after many very close encounters with these animals they don’t generally seem very threatening.  There is a sort of excitement that comes from hunting them though, and I confess to a higher heart rate when I have to follow one into the tunnels through the chemise…especially if he’s carrying an arrow or bullet wound. 

I guess that small element of risk is also one of the things that attracts me to this quarry.  I’ve never really felt very threatened by a deer or elk.  I’ve heard moose might create a touchy situation, but haven’t hunted those yet.  I suppose bear hunting can be at least as exhilerating, but for me I just like that little added edge that hog hunting provides.  I don’t need to literally risk life and limb, but the possibility is there and it keeps me sharp.

Another consideration is that I can hunt hogs all year long.  In CA most of our deer seasons are only a few weeks long at most.  I find myself every year struggling to balance work, family, and hunting during the few weeks of opportunity.  But with hogs it’s a bit more leisurely.  I can hunt in February when everything else is out of season.  I can hunt in June or July, when the kids are out of school.  Or I can always keep an eye open during deer season, in the event a hog makes the error of crossing my deer trail. 

And, finally, there’s the meat.  Personally, I love all wild game meat.  Venison, elk or deer, is just awesome.  I’ve enjoyed bear roasts and hams, and all kinds of birds.  Family and friends, however, don’t all share my adventurous palette.  Some complain about dryness, some about toughness, and others simply don’t want to eat Bambi.  But when I serve up a dish of wild pork, I find that those prejudices disappear (along with the meat).  Well handled and properly cooked, it’s hard for any other wild game to compare. 

So maybe I’m not bleeping crazy after all.  Just hog wild.

Enjoy this article? Check out these:

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• Quickie … game cam picture from Coon Camp Springs
• Swine Invasion – Discussion at Field and Stream
• Hog Hunting on Military Bases in CA – Fort Hunter Liggett
• Happy Thanksgiving
• What’s Goin’ On?
• Pig Hunt – The Movie US Premiere in San Francisco